Ba-ba-ba-ba-da-bo-bo-ba-deet
I'm a fucking parapalegic
So don't get mad if I don't lend a hand
Don't get mad. Don't get mad, man
I need a drink. I need a drink to get fucked up
So c'mon and buy me a drink
Beer then liquor, never sicker
Liquor then beer, and you're in the clear
(or is it the other way around?)

I can't tell you what I'm thinking cuz it ain't P.C.
I'll tell you this though; I gotta take a pee
My drum machine is resting on it's last leg
So get a new one, Greg
In case you don't know, let me tell you this
Orange and yellow make "yellow-orange"
Eddie Vedder's in the house now, so check it out

It was only five years ago that I was 21
Somebody get me a gun
So I can blow my motherfucking head off
I hate Brian Schoff

Quarter to 12 (midnite) and I'm already out of smokes
I need a cigarette. That ain't no fucking joke
These lyrics are getting pretty sad
I gotta finish 'em, so I can get some cigarettes

Luckily, for me
This is thee last verse, see
And then I'll just finish this beer
Then I'm outta here
(to go get cigarettes)