I know you'd like to kick my ass
For making fun of you
But quite frankly you know
I probably hate myself more than you

"I got no friends
You know I'm pathetic
I sit in my room all alone
I write these songs
Cuz I got nothing else to do
At least until Jerry Springer's on"

The only way I can justify
Doing this shit I do
Getting drunk with my guitar
In the afternoon
Is to write a song about someone I don't know
And call them a jerk-off
That way I can feel better about myself
At least until my buzz is gone

"Feeling like shit
But that's the thing
What else is a guy to do?
It's not that I hate you
It's just that you're there
And the fact that you suck, well, it's true"

Another cigarette
Another beer
God I'm so glad
Glad you're not here

This song is pathetic, I'll admit that
And that's not just cuz I'm drunk
The least I can do is apologize to you
Cuz this song it stinks like a skunk

"I don't know what my problem is
I never should have finished this song
Maybe I'm stupid or maybe I'm drunk
But this song has gone on way too long"

"Maybe I'm stupid or maybe I'm drunk
Now I'll admit that this song, it stunk"

Chorus

(Ranting and raving about how bad this song is.....)